Cops: Stillwater Shoplifter Flees Walmart, Runs Directly to Jail

A 29-year-old Stillwater man’s "lousy sense of direction," recently landed him in jail, with a cameo in the top story of the Dakota County Sheriff’s Office September newsletter.

Jesse Alan Barkyoumb was recently charged with gross misdemeanor theft after he allegedly stole electronics from Walmart in Hastings, and then fled the store on foot, running directly toward the entrance of the Dakota County Jail.

Here’s how the incident played out, according to the Dakota County Sheriff’s Office newsletter, “The Front Row: A Front Row Seat to the Greatest Show on Earth:

“A fleet-footed crook recently found out the hard way that he was not all that fast and, more importantly, that he had a lousy sense of direction. The Hastings WalMart called 9-1-1 when a person shoplifted electronics and clothing, then fled from the store to a car parked across the street. When deputies arrived in the area, he jumped from his car and continued to run until he was caught by the more fleet of foot Sergeant Booker Hodges and Deputy Bryan Hermerding.

"After he was apprehended, Sergeant Hodges marched (literally) the suspect off to jail; you see, in his attempt to run from the cops he headed right for the entrance to the jail, which was just a short walking distance away. Just like Motel 6, “We’ll leave the light on for you.”

According to the criminal complaint:

Deputies were called to a shoplifting report on Aug. 31 at the Walmart store in Hastings.

Loss prevention employees told police that Jesse Alan Barkyoumb, 29, of Stillwater, ditched the merchandise in the store and was attempting to flee in a black Impala that was parked in the Dakota County Sheriff's Office parking lot.

Deputies responded to the call and located the vehicle.

When Barkyoumb realized the officers were on his trail, he allegedly got out of the car and began to flee on foot—directly toward the jail.

The deputy apprehended Barkyoumb, and walked him to jail.

Barkyoumb allegedly admitted to stealing electronic devices that were found inside his vehicle. He was charged with gross misdemeanor theft and fleeing a peace officer.

His next court date is set for Sept. 26.